The only instruments I play are the hubcaps and the bongos, and maybe the jukebox, but I have a soft spot for lady musicians. I like to watch them manipulate an instrument, if you catch my drift.
Lady Gaga mostly dances around in outfits that look like they were made from old Russian satellites and the music sounds like it was made by robots. But she does play piano. And I like girls that are interesting.
And besides, beneath all that crazy stuff is Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta, a nice Italian girl who probably makes a mean lasagna. And I loooove lasagna.
Would Fonzie date her? Correctomundo!
Lady Gaga?
Kim Kardashian?
The Fonz has to admit that he had never heard of this particular young lady so I had to get on the Google and do a little research. From what I can tell, she's famous for doing nothing. Also, she made whoopie with a guy and filmed it. That's two strikes against her from the starting line. The Fonz likes a woman who does something for living. Idling is for motorcycles. And that dirty movie? Some things are better left to the imagination.
Sure, she has some of the physical attributes the Fonz finds attractive but what's the point of a pretty package if there's nothing inside? Would Fonzie date her? Negativo, Potsie, negativo.
Sarah Palin?
Would the Fonz date Sarah Palin? That, shortcake, is a very good question. On the one hand, she's kind of a looker. She's also very successful and the Fonz likes a woman who can achieve. And she likes motorcycles, which is in the plus column.
On the other hand, I find her politics to be divisive. Division is for school. We need togetherness. When she talks, she makes less sense that Ralph Malph. And I heard she likes to hunt wolves from a helicopter. As a lone wolf myself, I don't find that too sporting. At least give the guy a chance! How would you like it if I hunted you with a helicopter? Uncool.
Would I date her? Probably one date. I voted for Eisenhower, we could probably talk about that. But then she'd start talking about shooting caribou and what did a caribou ever do to you?
Tina Fey?
Beauty is nothing without intelligence. Look at my motorcycle - it's a thing of beauty but it takes intelligence to create. It takes intelligence to fix, too. You have to have both sides of the coin. The intelligence compliments the beauty and verso viso, if you know what I mean.
The Fonz likes girls with glasses, too. Taking those glasses off is like unwrapping presents, and Tina Fey is the kind of present the Fonz likes to see under his tree at Christmas. Whoa.
Smart, funny, easy on the eyes. And she's a writer, and literacy is very important to the Fonz. Now, she's Greek, and sometimes the Greeks and Italians don't get along so good, but I think we could hammer out a peace treaty, if you get my drift.
She's won five Emmys, a Golden Globe and a SAG Award. I don't even know what those are, but it's very impressive.
Would the Fonz date Tina Fey? Correctomundo!
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